Last Friday, after all the work was done on the ranch,
we packed up the car, locked up the ranch house,
and drove to Arizona.
and one of them was to attend the
Arizona Burn Foundation Christmas gala.
The Gala was as beautiful as always, and I love dressing up all fancy pantsy.
Mr. Nielson and I were honored to have been invited by my favorite doctors
to share the evening with, and sitting by Dr. L was a highlight.
During dinner and while chatting, I notice that Dr. L's eyes are starting to
"examine" my face, and then out of nowhere, he calmly says:
"I've got to fix your face."
Now you must know that I know Dr. L so well that
when he says things like that to me, I know he means it
with all the love that his genius brain can say.
And it is true I need to go back in for some follow-up surgeries.
I can't breathe out my nose, and my lips are still painful.
(Christian and I with Dr. L and his beautiful wife Sara)
Then he will say something like:
"I need you for about a month,
let's set up a meeting in February and make a plan."
I nod my head, roll my eyes, and tell him I love him.
The thing is, I am scared to go back to surgery.
I am scared to be sick again.
I am just starting to "get" who I am and actually be
comfortable and like the way I look.
It took me about nine years, and here I am, only to change again?
I'm scared.
But surgery for me isn't necessarily cosmetic
in the sense that I want a new nose,
or lips, or anything like that,
I actually need to fix some things to improve my quality of life.
It's a process, and part of surviving meant my life
would be this way, and that's ok. Hard, but ok.
I've got a wonderful team on my side.
