Doing What He Does Best

I would like to publicly thank my dog, Jimmy, for being a fantastic watchdog

 while Mr. Nielson was gone. So here it goes,

Dear Jimmy,

 Even though the only sound that would awaken you from your deep slumbers

 (or at all, for that matter) is the sound of a wrapper, 

 I still felt safer with you around. 

And even though you ate all the used tampons

 out of the garbage can this morning, I will still give you a kiss.

Finally, I want to express my deep and lasting love for you because 

you bravely attacked that huge cockroach in the bathroom last night.

 I don't mind you watching me while I'm using the toilet anymore 

because I know that you're really protecting me from cockroaches.

I love you.