Heavy and Grateful

A few days ago after Lottie got home from school we sat on the couch

in the living room and read books together. 
Sometimes I read to her, and sometimes she reads to me.
(I love when she reads to me!)
I can hardly wait for her to get home so we can read
together-- especially since I pulled out the Halloween and fall books!

Tonight after I put Lottie in her bed and covered her up,

 she told me that she had a story to tell me.

So I turned off her light, and sat down on a 

red tiny wooden chair next to her bed and listened.

She told me about 'lion island' and two little birds who lived there.  

From her description of this island, it sounds like it's a really colorful place.

In her dark bedroom surrounded by the light glow of the new

 jack-o-lantern that I picked up while at Walmart earlier in the afternoon,

 I noticed her little eyes were growing heavy.

Then her words became spaced out until there 

was silence except for but her soft relaxed breathing.

I smooched her cheeks, tucked her in tight, then walked down the

stairs into the dark kitchen.

I walked into the laundry room where 

I loaded a pile of whites from the washer to the dryer,

then I unloaded the dishwasher and 

then thought about my brother Topher who is one of the most

amazing men that I will ever know.

I can't think about him without getting a giant lump in my throat,

and I think about him ALL THE TIME.

I went from the kitchen to my bedroom and straight into my
 bed where I cried myself to sleep next to Christian.

My heart feels heavy and grateful all at the same time.

I wish I could be at Christopher's Xanadu play next weekend

to support him, and the Rocky Mountain ALS Chapter.

And I think I could use a good laugh,

and this play is suuuuper funny.

I love you Topher

Spiritual Enlightenment: Just as He Did